A meal with the local people is a great occasion to learn more about Vietnamese culture, and you might want to know some basic rules of traditional Vietnamese table manners beforehand. The majority of them are designed to ensure that you eat unhurriedly, which is believed to be the behavior of the intellectual and economic elite.
Using Chopsticks
Chopsticks are a type of utensil that cannot be missed in Vietnamese family meals. Children start learning how to use chopsticks at a very young age, and there are many rules of traditional Vietnamese table manners. It is not only about Vietnamese chopstick etiquette but also about how to act politely and respectfully with that pair of sticks in your hand.
When picking up food, instead of putting it straight into your mouth, put it in your bowl first
By doing it, your actions would appear more polite. Furthermore, there will be a rich variety of Vietnamese dipping sauces on the table, so following this rule can help you avoid splashing the unwanted condiment onto your clothes or the table of people next to you.
Don’t make noises with the chopsticks or put the chopsticks straight up into your bowls
Hitting bowls or dishes with chopsticks is believed to be the behavior of beggars, while sticking the chopsticks straight down into your bowls may resemble the incense on the altar. These are the last things you should do at a Vietnamese meal as they are thought to attract devils and bring bad fortunes.
Do not dig into the dish to find your favorite piece
For example, if you prefer meat over vegetables, don’t toss around the greens to look for what you like. It is deemed to be disrespectful as people feel they can only eat what they do not want to. Note that eating only one or two types of food during the whole meal can also be considered rude, so try eating other ones. They might be better than you thought.
Read more about Vietnamese Superstitions
Do not dip your chopsticks into the shared bowl
In Vietnamese family meals, there is usually a big bowl of soup. While picking food on shared plates is acceptable, do not do the same with the shared bowl. Instead, use a ladle or an unused pair of chopsticks to pick up some food.
Making Noises While Eating
Although sharing some small conversations while eating is acceptable, making too much sound at the table is considered impolite. Therefore, be careful not to slurp or chew too loudly. Besides, remember not to stuff too much food in your mouth or talk while chewing.
The Right Eating Posture of Traditional Vietnamese Table Manner
According to traditional Vietnamese table manners, you should keep your back straight during a meal, never put your hands under the table, or lean your elbows on it even when you need to raise the bowl to your mouth. Shaking your legs is another inappropriate thing to do when eating with Vietnamese, as it not only irritates people but also makes you appear to be inferior. It would be significantly helpful if you could also learn about non-verbal Vietnamese communication.
Sitting neither too close nor too far from the table is not a formal rule, but it can help you enjoy the meal more comfortably. A suitable distance would make picking up food easier and would not disturb people around.
When to Start Eating and Leave the Table
Daily meals play essential roles in Vietnamese family values. It is when everyone can gather and talk to each other, which enhances the bonds among all members. Because of this, the meals are expected to start only after every person has settled down in their seat.
However, you should not start eating when everyone has just shown up. In traditional Vietnamese table manner, there is a conception that the oldest or most powerful person should be the one who eats first, only then can the others enjoy the food. In family meals, according to Vietnamese traditional gender roles, that person would usually be the father or the grandfather. It would be the one holding the highest positions at companies’ parties. But sometimes, if you join the meal as their guest or partner, the host might invite you to use the food first to show their hospitality and goodwill.
Knowing when to leave the table is also important. You might or might not be the person to eat first, but it would be better if you were not the one who leaves first. Meals are when many people are open to sharing their stories, so they are not just about eating but also about bonding with each other. If somebody finishes too soon, it might make the rest uncomfortable. Therefore, take your time to enjoy the food while getting to know more about Vietnamese culture and daily life.
Some Other Notes When Joining A Meal Hosted by a Vietnamese Family
Following these notes will help you avoid unintentionally causing inconvenience to the host while still having an enjoyable meal.
Feel free to tell the host in advance if you have any special diet restrictions
Vietnam is heaven for food lovers, which means we have tons of fascinating dishes made from the combination of countless ingredients. Unfortunately, these dishes may cause an upset stomach. Informing the host about your diet would keep you safe and help the cook adjust the recipe appropriately.
Take a look at 20 Best Vietnamese Dishes to know the common ingredients of Vietnamese cuisine and prepare yourself.
Ask the host about where you are supposed to sit
In many families, there are fixed seats for each member. When there are guests, chairs are added, but the order remains almost the same. Usually, where you sit depends on who invited you directly, so if you are unsure, just ask.
At important ceremonies such as weddings and death anniversaries, women and men usually do not sit together. Most of the time, people around the same age sit together for more comfortable communication. Kids sometimes also have separate tables so they will not disturb the adults.
See here for more information about table settings and etiquettes
Summary of Traditional Vietnamese Table Manner
The aforementioned are some basic traditional Vietnamese table manners, but there’s no need to worry if you are not yet used to the local customs. On top of that, the rules vary in Vietnamese regions and cultures, so don’t hesitate to take part in a family meal to learn more about the local traditions.